


Poisoned Thoughts

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [122]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam's poor self esteem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 08:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7750633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Protecting Sam from his own poisoned thoughts sometimes seems like a full-time job, but really, there’s no job Benny rather be doing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poisoned Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This is another piece from Tumblr.
> 
> Warnings include: Sam has terrible self esteem. Someone died off-screen while they were hunting. It's hurt/comfort.

Protecting Sam from his own poisoned thoughts sometimes seems like a full-tie job, but really, there’s no job Benny rather be doing.

He _loves_  Sam. He wants Sam to be happy. He just wishes Sam felt the same way about himself.

Today it’s the hunt, and how a civilian died. No one’s fault. Things happen. They saved five, but this one was just beyond saving before they got there.

Sam doesn’t see it that way, and really, at this point, Benny isn’t that surprised anymore. 

Heartbroken, maybe. That never seems to abate. But not surprised.

“It ain’t your fault.” Benny always starts with that. Sam never seems to really listen. Or he listens, because Sam always listens, he would never ignore Benny. He just doesn’t process it.

“It’s not,” Benny emphasizes, in case tonight is the night it sticks. “Ya do your best, Sam. Better than most everyone else.”

“People die ‘cause I don’t do good enough,” Sam says dully, emptily, rotely.

Benny shakes his head, and takes the opportunity to pull Sam closer in the bed, arms tight around him. “No,” he says. “People die ‘cause monsters attack them. End of story. Ya saved the others.”

That’s really all Benny can say. Sure, he can repeat it in different variations a few dozen times, and he will, most certainly will, tonight, but there’s not so much more he can do. Sam will accept it, or he won’t.

“You’re so good,” Benny whispers softly to Sam. “So good. I promise, Sam, it’s the truth. Ya are.”

Benny waits until Sam seems to go slack in his arms. It’s not acquiescence, definitely not acceptance. But…it’s the start.

“Bath?” Benny offers. A warm, gentle bath can sometimes work wonders. It did back in the day, it does now. Benny sticks by it.

Sam nods, looking exhausted, as if he’s just gone ten rounds with something.

So Benny kisses the back of his head, once, twice, a third time, then untangles himself so he can go start the bath.


End file.
